Boost Your Brain and Relieve Stress by Learning Music in Midlife, with Nicole Kovar (Ep. 16)

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And midlife can be a time when we lose our way a little bit.

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And we know that we need to do things that are good for our brains, good for our bodies.

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But what are those things? What do we want to do? What do we like to do?

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What was that thing that you like to do when you were 20? Do you remember?

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I don't know if I remember.

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So I want to help you to support your brain, support your body,

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and have something that you like to do in your spare time that is enjoyable and healthy.

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And you know what? That might actually be playing music.

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I am really excited to talk about that with today's guest. So stick with me.

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Welcome to Mind Your Midlife, your go-to resource for confidence and success, one thought at a time.

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Unlike most advice out there, we believe that simply telling you to believe

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in yourself or change your habits isn't enough to wake up excited about life

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or feel truly confident in your body.

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Each week, you'll gain actionable strategies and, oh my goodness,

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powerful insights to stop feeling stuck and start loving your midlife.

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This is the Mind Your Midlife podcast.

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About a year ago, I decided that I was going to learn violin.

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And I never had, and I, for some reason, had always wanted to.

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And so I got a violin, I got a violin teaching app, and I tried it,

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and I wasn't very consistent.

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And of all the things I already know about music, and you probably know this

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too, consistency is the key.

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So I kind of had some frustration and some joy because I was enjoying it.

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I was happy about it in equal measure. And then I put it down when I got busy.

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Here's the thing, though. In midlife, as women, we often do have a little bit

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more time on our hands, and we might be looking for something meaningful to

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do with that time. We might be looking for a hobby.

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We might be looking back to try to remember who we were 20-some years ago and

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what we were interested in.

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Well, that's why I want to talk about music.

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My guest today, Nicole Kovar is the founder and executive director of Piano

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and More, which is a music studio in Arlington, Virginia.

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She loves to work with students of all ages and backgrounds,

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and she actually, you'll hear her say this,

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she has a degree in health education and a master's in science,

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so she loves the brain aspect of music as well. And I love that.

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She has over a decade of experience running the studio and over 15 years experience teaching.

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I think you're really going to enjoy what we're going to talk about today. Here we go.

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Welcome, Nicole. Thank you. I'm happy to be here. I'm excited about this conversation.

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Let's just start with the basics. How did you end up teaching music and running a music school?

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It's an interesting story. I like to say it was an accident.

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It was never planned. If you would have told me when I was eight years old and

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I was taking piano lessons, I wouldn't have believed you.

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But it did happen, and I'm happy to be here.

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And it basically just started like I was tutoring as a side hustle after grad school.

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And I tutored all kinds of services like math, science, English,

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English as a second language.

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And I was also teaching piano and guitar and voice. So I was doing all these

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little things, just trying to see what worked.

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And before I knew it, I started to accumulate a lot of piano students.

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And then I maxed out and I quit my full-time job and decided,

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okay, private piano lessons, this is what I'm good at.

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I built a wait list, and I really enjoyed being a piano teacher,

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and it really just took off.

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So as I'm building this waiting list, parents are starting to suggest,

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like, you have this really unique method. It's a different perspective than other piano teachers.

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Like, I literally had students that were coming to me from other piano teachers.

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And they're like, maybe you should start hiring other teachers,

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train them your method and make it into a business.

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And I was a lot younger then. I started teaching around 24, 25.

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So I was just like, who would listen to me? Like, how am I going to manage other teachers?

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And then I was also like, do I have the credentials for that?

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Because, yeah, I mean, I do have degrees, but they're in the sciences.

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I was going in a completely different route.

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I was wanting to do more like health education.

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And yeah, I was just like, no, that's how can that be for me?

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And then my waiting list.

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This is kind of funny. The mom's on the meeting list.

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A waiting list. They got impatient and they started solving the issues for me.

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And they would coordinate it all together. They're like, okay,

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you'll go here, then here.

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We'll do back to back lessons. That way you can squeeze in as many as you can

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in the mornings. And here I was teaching 6 a.m. Children.

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Children were waking up at 6 a.m. for me. So it was pretty crazy.

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And at At that point, I was like, ah, the demand is really, really strong. How about I give it a try?

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Why not give it a go? So yeah, I started to say, why not try?

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And I did start hiring teachers.

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And today I can say I have trained and managed over 50 teachers.

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And we have collectively taught over hundreds of students in this area.

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So it's been quite a roller coaster.

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There have been challenges along the way for sure. But it's amazing what the

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will to try will organize for you.

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Like, I didn't have the strategy. I didn't have the plan. I wouldn't even say I had the confidence.

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Like, I still don't have confidence in everything I do. But I am willing to try.

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And so it's incredible when you kind of let life take its course.

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You know what? I know this isn't our main topic for this episode,

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but I love this story anyway.

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And I've been talking a lot recently, especially with coaching clients,

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about this idea or phrase of I can figure it out, like to have that be sort of an empowering thing.

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I'll figure it out. I know I can always figure it out. And that's kind of what

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you did. You said, OK, let me try.

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Let's see. It's just that kind of like open mind to see what happens that I

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think can do amazing things.

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I really believe that's the key is an open mind and being willing to try.

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Yeah, I love it. Thank you.

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Okay, so we agree that this idea of let's try, let's figure it out,

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keep an open mind is a good one.

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Let's kind of flip this over to our topic for today, which is music and learning a musical instrument.

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And I think that a lot of us probably think of this as something that kids do.

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And you said you were teaching piano to kids.

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Is it worth learning a musical instrument in midlife once were adults?

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It definitely is a common belief because I see it in our studio.

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95% of it is children. So it is a common perception.

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Most people think piano lessons equals children, guitar lessons.

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That's for kids. Voice lessons.

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Like my time has passed. I'm not going to, you know, go out there to my friends

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and colleagues and I'll tell them I'm a singer, I'm a pianist.

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Like my time has passed. I can't do that anymore. But I'm here to tell you that is not true.

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I have taught several adult students, and we have a great time,

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and they do go on to learn pieces and even perform their favorite pieces. I've taught moms.

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I've taught grandmothers. I've taught men and women that are in the prime stages

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of their careers, and they've even had different backgrounds.

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Some of them have had some piano lessons when they were growing up,

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and then they stopped, and they haven't really touched that again.

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I've had a couple that they were in their high school's band,

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and they wanted to try piano.

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So I've had all kinds of backgrounds, all kinds of ages. I've even had

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a couple of students that were 70 years and older that were brand new to piano and learning.

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And like I said, they were able to play their favorite pieces.

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And some of them, if they were brave enough, they even performed them in our recitals.

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So I am here to tell you, yes, you can learn no matter what the age is.

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Did they give you reasons for why they wanted to learn?

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Why they wanted to learn? Yes, definitely.

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I actually have a story. One of them is Leslie, and she basically just wanted

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to learn because she always wanted to learn as a child and she never got the opportunity.

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So she was like, oh, this is my opportunity. I'm going to do it.

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And she liked learning new things anyway.

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And a lot of parents also, they would say things like, well,

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I want my children to see that I can do new things and I'm going to stick to it.

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I want to be the example. I want to be the role model.

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And so, yeah, they definitely had various reasons and it worked. I love it.

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So you and I talked about this prior to our conversation right now.

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I decided that I was going to learn violin about a year and a half ago.

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And I had an app and I was trying to do it and I was getting frustrated and

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I wasn't spending enough time and I put it down.

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And this conversation is reminding me to try again.

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So if anybody else is in those shoes, maybe this conversation will help.

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Because what I want to talk about really is what

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are some of the reasons why we might even bother to try to learn and try to

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play music at this stage of life?

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What are some of those major advantages?

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Because I know that you know of some. The biggest one that comes to mind,

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and this is actually one of the reasons why a lot of parents want their children

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to learn piano, is because of the cognitive benefits.

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So I would argue midlife is actually even more of an important time to start exercising the brain.

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I think most people, they would agree with me. Like if I want to live a long

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and I want to live well, a long life and live well, then I need to have a good physical body.

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I need to be fit. I need to incorporate workouts into my lifestyle on a daily basis, right?

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And it's the same thing with the brain. You have to work out the brain.

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You have to stimulate it and challenge it with cognitive activities.

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And so there are signs that you'll start to see as you age, right?

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So some examples are just not being able to like catch that memory or that word.

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And that happens a lot more frequently than it ever did.

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Then there's the brain fog. There's slower processing time.

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And those are signs kind of letting you know like, hey, your brain,

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things are changing on the inside physically.

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And so it is time to start stimulating it.

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And music is a beautiful way to

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do that because it's an activity that does require so much of your brain.

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Like pretty much your entire brain is lighting up both hemispheres because you

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have to stay coordinated. You have to stay in rhythm.

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You're using your senses, your sight, your hearing.

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You have to develop these fine motor skills that are very specific.

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You have to build neurons in your fingers or that connect to your fingers so

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you can develop this very, very fine control.

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Hand-eye coordination, increasing focus, attention span, concentration.

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These are all areas that music will help you develop

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and maintain, strengthen, keeping the mind sharp.

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So yeah, highly recommended. Yeah, that's a great point because one of the things I hear a lot,

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and I mean, this is my age group too, so it's from my own story as well,

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but sometimes what happens to us in midlife is maybe the kids are either old

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enough to be on their own or they're really out of the house on their own.

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And either we're still working or we're not, but we have suddenly a lot of free

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time. And it's so tempting to spend that free time lying on the couch,

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binging Netflix all the time.

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And we know that's not healthy for us, but maybe we don't know what to do.

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We, well, it kind of, it almost gets erased. Like, well, what did I like to

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do when I was younger and I had time to do it? I don't remember.

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So yes, the cognitive benefits that speaks to me a lot because we know that

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watching TV all the time is not doing any good for our brain. Right.

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Right. And you mentioned mental health benefits as well.

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And I think that's definitely something we should talk about because.

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Again, in sort of a transitional period of life, we can get down,

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we can feel confused or stuck and, you know, need some mental health boost,

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for lack of a better word.

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So tell me a little bit more about that.

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Yeah, I think mental health has definitely, the topic has definitely increased

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in the last couple years. And we're starting to realize how it,

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the daily stressors are anxiety. It really does affect it.

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And music is, it's a superpower.

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I like to think of it as a superpower because there's so many benefits that

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are significant and can positively impact and change your life.

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It can change your direction.

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And mental health is one of those areas. One of the things with music is,

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and this has happened to all of us, you'll go into a space and your favorite

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song is blasting on the speakers. And what happens?

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Like within seconds, your mood changes. So that's why I like to think of it

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as a superpower because what is more powerful that within a couple of seconds,

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like instantly, your mood is enhanced.

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And that's because music is the language of emotions. A lot of our memories

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and our emotions relate to songs and music, and it brings it all back for us.

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So I like to, I believe playing an instrument actually increases your emotional resiliency as well.

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In these songs, there's these stories that the composers have written,

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and there's major keys that are happy notes, and then there's minor keys that are sad notes.

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And when you play those sad notes really fast, then suddenly it's intense and

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something big is coming up.

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Or maybe there's major keys that are being played very softly,

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and you feel light, airy, very motivational.

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So it will this one song can take you through a series of stages emotional stages

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just like a movie does and as you're playing this song the emotions that you

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have within you will start to relate to the music and so it's actually a way

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to process and release your emotions just like if you're

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talking about a bad day to a colleague or you're talking to your therapist,

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the only difference is it's a lot less intimidating.

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Facing your feelings, it can be a lot sometimes. It can be kind of draining.

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And playing an instrument and playing out your feelings and processing them

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through music, it's not draining, actually. It's empowering.

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You leave the piano bench feeling like you just released.

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And it wasn't even overwhelming to face those fears or face those feelings.

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So it's actually another powerful way to build up your mental health and emotional resiliency.

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You know, I love that because, in fact, episode one of Mind Your Midlife,

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not that long ago, was about the fact that we need to feel our emotions.

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And exactly as you said, Yes, we do need to. Yes, it's healthy.

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And yes, sometimes we don't want to. And sometimes it's really feels hard and

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overwhelming. And I don't want to feel like that.

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And I truly never until this conversation thought about music as a way to do

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that. I think that's fantastic.

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I see what you mean. It could be like loud, soft. It could be a little bit happier sounding.

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The minor keys do sound kind of like, I don't know, they're different,

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right? They're actually my favorite.

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Yeah, I love the sad music. I'm just like in my feels.

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Really fascinating. Yeah. And then if you want to take it a step further,

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like if you do have a private teacher that you kind of dissect the song with

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and you talk about what's happening in the song, then you actually start to

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build language around emotions.

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You learn to identify these emotions that are happening that the song is trying

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to create in the audience. and you talk about them.

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So I know it sounds so simple, but how many adults actually know how to identify

00:17:16.073 --> 00:17:17.513
their emotions when they happen?

00:17:18.193 --> 00:17:21.953
Sadly, the number isn't that high. I don't know what the numbers are,

00:17:22.093 --> 00:17:26.013
but I know I even struggle sometimes like, what am I feeling here?

00:17:26.213 --> 00:17:30.293
Yeah, the process of like dissecting a song and talking about it with someone

00:17:30.293 --> 00:17:32.073
and it's kind of a third party.

00:17:32.193 --> 00:17:35.073
It's not your own emotions, right? It's the song's emotions.

00:17:35.093 --> 00:17:38.613
So it's a lot less scary and you can kind of talk about it.

00:17:38.773 --> 00:17:43.293
And just that process does help you get more comfortable with talking about emotions.

00:17:43.573 --> 00:17:48.173
That's a great point. You don't feel like you're putting yourself on display

00:17:48.173 --> 00:17:51.973
or, you know, in the spotlight, in the hot seat.

00:17:52.353 --> 00:17:56.413
You feel like you're trying to interpret something and that is like a project

00:17:56.413 --> 00:18:00.493
and not so intimidating, maybe. Yeah. Yeah, absolutely.

00:18:00.953 --> 00:18:08.173
Now, you also said something about the flow state when we were talking previously.

00:18:08.853 --> 00:18:14.353
And meditation is a big topic right now. So tell us a little bit more about that.

00:18:14.553 --> 00:18:17.953
There's, of course, a lot of research around how much

00:18:18.198 --> 00:18:22.138
What does playing an instrument do? So there was this one study that I was reading

00:18:22.138 --> 00:18:28.218
and they hooked up musicians, kind of checked their vital signs as they're playing their instrument.

00:18:28.338 --> 00:18:33.558
And what they noticed is that when you're sight reading music that is on your

00:18:33.558 --> 00:18:39.198
level, then you are basically transformed. You're forced into this meditative state.

00:18:39.358 --> 00:18:42.938
You're forced to be present because when you're playing an instrument,

00:18:42.958 --> 00:18:47.998
it does activate all parts of your brain once again. And so you don't have time

00:18:47.998 --> 00:18:51.438
to think about those distractions and those stressors from the day.

00:18:51.598 --> 00:18:58.478
And so you are in this flow state, a form of meditation, your heart rate slows down,

00:18:58.798 --> 00:19:06.218
your breathing also slows down, and the stress regions of your brain stop showing

00:19:06.218 --> 00:19:09.378
up on the screen, like those bright patches that show up.

00:19:09.578 --> 00:19:13.078
So the mental activity and the stress regions of the brain, they decreased.

00:19:13.078 --> 00:19:16.898
I took that information later, by the way, and I was like, you know.

00:19:17.298 --> 00:19:20.278
Sometimes I'm an overthinker. I'll admit it.

00:19:20.378 --> 00:19:22.638
And I try to catch it now.

00:19:22.918 --> 00:19:27.178
Like, I'll see myself. I'm thinking about this thing, this concern,

00:19:27.338 --> 00:19:28.698
this worry, whatever it is.

00:19:28.758 --> 00:19:31.778
And I tell myself, okay, no, I'm not going to think about this anymore.

00:19:31.898 --> 00:19:33.518
I thought about it enough. I'm done.

00:19:33.798 --> 00:19:38.278
And then 10 minutes later, I'm thinking about it again. And so I'll tell myself

00:19:38.278 --> 00:19:40.278
again, like, no, you're done.

00:19:40.398 --> 00:19:46.238
No more thinking about this thing. And then an hour later, I still find myself stuck in this loop.

00:19:46.258 --> 00:19:51.098
It's just, it feels like my brain's been hijacked and I can't get out of it.

00:19:51.178 --> 00:19:57.158
Like, I have to keep thinking about it. So I started setting my, I go to my piano,

00:19:57.458 --> 00:20:03.018
I set my timer for 10 minutes, I've tried to do less, and I find like five minutes

00:20:03.018 --> 00:20:07.138
is not enough, I need to do at least 10 minutes, and I open up my sheet music,

00:20:07.438 --> 00:20:12.038
and it can't be easy songs, because if it's too simple,

00:20:12.358 --> 00:20:14.238
then I'll start thinking about it again.

00:20:14.238 --> 00:20:20.598
So I have to find a piece that is challenging enough, and I play it for 10 minutes.

00:20:21.331 --> 00:20:26.731
And by the time when my timer rings, I am completely in a different world.

00:20:27.051 --> 00:20:32.031
I forgot about the issue and I am ready to reset. I'm ready to start my day again.

00:20:32.311 --> 00:20:36.431
So that's a little music and mental health hack that I kind of do now.

00:20:36.471 --> 00:20:38.411
And it's been very useful. Yeah.

00:20:38.651 --> 00:20:42.251
And I know there's going to be people listening who have kind of heard you need

00:20:42.251 --> 00:20:46.631
to be present, you need to meditate, you need to this, you need to that and

00:20:46.631 --> 00:20:48.271
aren't sure it's for them.

00:20:48.511 --> 00:20:54.231
And so doing something like this for 10 minutes as complete reset and maybe

00:20:54.231 --> 00:20:59.091
something ideally something you enjoy, right, is quite a hack. I agree.

00:20:59.351 --> 00:21:04.171
That's a fantastic idea. And then one more benefit that I think is really good

00:21:04.171 --> 00:21:08.331
for women in the stage of midlife is self-discovery.

00:21:09.211 --> 00:21:13.091
I actually have a story about this one, but you were saying how midlife can

00:21:13.091 --> 00:21:17.691
kind of feel uncertain and there's opportunities, but yeah, you don't really know what to do.

00:21:17.851 --> 00:21:21.131
And also it's kind of routine heavy. So you have your go-tos.

00:21:21.351 --> 00:21:22.591
Things can be kind of predictable.

00:21:23.071 --> 00:21:28.511
So it's important to kind of rediscover yourself and to try new things.

00:21:28.511 --> 00:21:32.351
And one of my students, adult students, her name is Leslie Tucker.

00:21:32.651 --> 00:21:36.711
She was a joy to teach and we're still friends to this day.

00:21:36.871 --> 00:21:40.511
But she reached out to me and she was one of the ones that was like,

00:21:40.591 --> 00:21:43.031
oh, I've always wanted to learn how to play piano.

00:21:43.491 --> 00:21:49.971
I love learning new things. She's very, very smart. So I could tell she loved being stimulated.

00:21:50.271 --> 00:21:56.331
And she was like, you know, when you get older, it's important that you can re-see yourself.

00:21:56.631 --> 00:21:59.131
Those were her words, like re-see yourself.

00:21:59.391 --> 00:22:02.951
And I thought that was really interesting. Yeah, we had a good time.

00:22:03.111 --> 00:22:08.571
She took lessons for a couple years. We really got along, and she learned her favorite pieces.

00:22:09.051 --> 00:22:14.531
But Leslie was bold enough to actually perform at a recital.

00:22:14.711 --> 00:22:17.051
And mind you, those are two different skill sets.

00:22:17.431 --> 00:22:21.211
Like, playing an instrument is one thing, but now to perform—

00:22:21.358 --> 00:22:25.858
such an intricate, detailed activity in front of, you know, people,

00:22:26.078 --> 00:22:28.138
that's just a couple levels up.

00:22:28.158 --> 00:22:33.758
And I don't know if she knew what she was in for, but she did it.

00:22:33.898 --> 00:22:38.738
And during her performance, though, she did have a couple of hiccups.

00:22:39.138 --> 00:22:43.418
Like she played the wrong note. She got nervous. Her hand started shaking.

00:22:43.758 --> 00:22:49.198
She had to kind of restart the song. But, you know, the way she responded to

00:22:49.198 --> 00:22:53.178
that, like, I'll always remember it because it's so unnatural.

00:22:53.398 --> 00:22:57.798
Like, usually you'll see people like, like freak out and it just gets really

00:22:57.798 --> 00:22:58.998
overwhelming in that moment.

00:22:59.318 --> 00:23:03.638
Leslie like started laughing at herself and she would like turn and face the

00:23:03.638 --> 00:23:09.038
audience and just be like, ah, and then try again. And she was so lighthearted about it.

00:23:09.138 --> 00:23:13.418
I think it changed a lot of students' perspectives it was about performance.

00:23:13.758 --> 00:23:17.318
Like, it can be light. It's okay if I make a mistake.

00:23:18.018 --> 00:23:22.318
And the audience was, of course, super supportive. Like, they were just cheering

00:23:22.318 --> 00:23:25.198
her on and telling her, yeah, you can do this.

00:23:25.198 --> 00:23:28.618
And at the end, I asked her, like, what did you think of everything?

00:23:28.618 --> 00:23:34.558
And she was like, you know, if you can't fail gracefully, how can you expect your child to?

00:23:35.418 --> 00:23:40.778
You have to practice failing gracefully. And like, learning something like this,

00:23:40.778 --> 00:23:45.538
It's going to call out different parts of you, and it's going to really show

00:23:45.538 --> 00:23:49.978
you who you are under pressure and how you treat yourself under pressure.

00:23:50.358 --> 00:23:55.618
And like Leslie, I think it's so important to give yourself grace to kind of

00:23:55.618 --> 00:23:57.298
make mistakes, and it's okay.

00:23:57.718 --> 00:24:01.598
And more than anything, remember to enjoy the process. And thankfully,

00:24:01.598 --> 00:24:03.218
she was like, no, it was fun.

00:24:03.338 --> 00:24:06.578
I had a fun time, and it all worked out in the end.

00:24:07.518 --> 00:24:11.838
I love it. I have a friend who's a coach and one of the things she always says

00:24:11.838 --> 00:24:16.038
is do things with a light energy, light, easy, light energy.

00:24:16.058 --> 00:24:22.758
And it could be a hard thing, but not going into it with this like feeling about

00:24:22.758 --> 00:24:24.578
it. And that's exactly what you're saying.

00:24:25.718 --> 00:24:31.458
That's important. Yeah. Okay. Well, we have to flip over to sort of the other

00:24:31.458 --> 00:24:32.438
side of this discussion.

00:24:33.698 --> 00:24:38.098
I'm convinced this is a good idea. Those benefits are amazing.

00:24:38.438 --> 00:24:43.098
And yet, I don't know if listeners, you agree with me, but I had always heard

00:24:43.098 --> 00:24:47.138
that it would be harder to learn a musical instrument as an adult.

00:24:47.158 --> 00:24:50.018
And I did learn piano and organ as a child.

00:24:50.158 --> 00:24:53.838
So that is some benefit to me. And if you're listening and you learn something

00:24:53.838 --> 00:24:57.518
as a child, I imagine that makes it easier now. But you hear these things.

00:24:57.698 --> 00:25:00.078
It's going to be hard to learn as an adult. It's going to be challenging.

00:25:00.078 --> 00:25:03.078
And maybe this isn't quite the right thing for me to pick because I'm thinking

00:25:03.078 --> 00:25:03.958
it could be challenging.

00:25:04.398 --> 00:25:09.018
So what are some of those challenges and what would you say to that or advise people?

00:25:09.422 --> 00:25:14.142
And by the way, kudos to you for learning organ. I'm finding less and less of those people.

00:25:14.322 --> 00:25:17.942
So that's awesome that you learned. It wasn't actually my choice.

00:25:17.942 --> 00:25:22.422
It was my parents' choice. But I did the full thing, like multiple keyboards,

00:25:22.682 --> 00:25:25.882
two feet on the pedals, like the full thing. Oh, man. Yeah.

00:25:26.902 --> 00:25:30.562
Yeah, there are definitely challenges. Like, I'm not going to lie to you.

00:25:30.562 --> 00:25:33.082
I saw my adult students really struggle.

00:25:33.362 --> 00:25:36.822
And mind you, like, I wasn't planning to be a piano teacher either.

00:25:36.822 --> 00:25:43.242
So when I started teaching piano lessons, I also had to start teaching myself

00:25:43.242 --> 00:25:46.262
because I had had a long break.

00:25:46.382 --> 00:25:52.822
And yeah, I played my pieces, but I didn't really practice my sight reading as much as before.

00:25:52.882 --> 00:25:57.702
So I would say I'm actually a much better pianist now than I ever have been

00:25:57.702 --> 00:26:02.222
because, yeah, I built up to it. But I guess the first thing I would say is

00:26:02.222 --> 00:26:07.162
we want to make sure that we avoid, like you want to set yourself up for success first.

00:26:07.442 --> 00:26:12.722
So you do need to prepare that this is a cognitive enhancing ability.

00:26:12.722 --> 00:26:14.762
It's going to take some work.

00:26:14.942 --> 00:26:20.002
Your brain will really need its space to work, right? So the first thing you

00:26:20.002 --> 00:26:21.502
want to do is set up your space.

00:26:21.702 --> 00:26:26.302
Make sure it's a quiet space. I also recommend making sure that everything you

00:26:26.302 --> 00:26:30.722
need is within hand's reach so you never have to leave that space and then be

00:26:30.722 --> 00:26:32.162
distracted by something.

00:26:32.842 --> 00:26:37.742
So like, for example, I'll have like my timer, my metronome,

00:26:37.882 --> 00:26:42.842
my music books, pen, pencil, like if I want to write something down, have all that there.

00:26:43.302 --> 00:26:46.842
Set your timer for 10, 20, 30 minutes, whatever your goals are.

00:26:46.842 --> 00:26:51.262
And the goal is not to leave that spot until the timer rings.

00:26:51.462 --> 00:26:54.902
So that's a good way to set yourself up for success. And you'll have to let

00:26:54.902 --> 00:27:00.542
me know if that helps you when you start practicing your violin again. Yeah, yeah.

00:27:00.822 --> 00:27:03.922
Well, now you've mentioned 10 minutes a couple of times.

00:27:04.162 --> 00:27:11.522
And so if we just really had 10 minutes each day, do you think that that is

00:27:11.522 --> 00:27:15.042
enough to maybe start making some progress and feeling good about it?

00:27:15.042 --> 00:27:17.722
It's not one size fits all.

00:27:18.042 --> 00:27:22.102
And like if you haven't ever learned, it is harder.

00:27:22.342 --> 00:27:27.042
You don't have those neurons in your hands or in your brain connected to your

00:27:27.042 --> 00:27:33.162
hands like somebody else that has played piano in the past or has played guitar or has sung before.

00:27:33.422 --> 00:27:38.102
Right. It's much easier for them to revive those skills. So it will take a little

00:27:38.102 --> 00:27:40.882
bit more work for those where it's their first time.

00:27:41.062 --> 00:27:47.522
It also depends on age. I like to say 10 minutes because it's a good opportunity

00:27:47.522 --> 00:27:50.942
for beginners to be like, oh, I can handle 10 minutes.

00:27:51.122 --> 00:27:53.922
Like, yeah, I have a really busy schedule. I have a busy life,

00:27:54.042 --> 00:27:58.262
but I can find 10 minutes. And so it's a good gateway to just get started.

00:27:58.853 --> 00:28:03.333
I now, like my standard time is 30 minutes.

00:28:03.553 --> 00:28:08.533
If it's a weekend and I have more time, then I can easily do an hour and enjoy that.

00:28:08.653 --> 00:28:13.093
And if it's a busy day and I don't have time to like really dive in,

00:28:13.193 --> 00:28:14.413
then I'll just do 10 minutes.

00:28:15.033 --> 00:28:20.253
It's the consistency that's the power, right? Yeah. And that's my next point,

00:28:20.453 --> 00:28:21.953
actually. How did you know?

00:28:22.833 --> 00:28:27.593
So yeah, I wanted to talk about consistency because now I'm thinking about my

00:28:27.593 --> 00:28:29.733
kids and my students that are children.

00:28:30.093 --> 00:28:33.573
Like they have parents and parents are that support system.

00:28:33.873 --> 00:28:36.853
They're that accountability. Like, hey, did you practice?

00:28:37.073 --> 00:28:40.013
Your teacher's coming tomorrow. How much have you practiced this week?

00:28:40.133 --> 00:28:43.053
And as an adult, that's not there, right?

00:28:43.453 --> 00:28:48.393
You are the master of your life. And if you're not feeling it and you don't

00:28:48.393 --> 00:28:51.453
have that discipline built up, you're not going to do it.

00:28:51.573 --> 00:28:56.693
So if you are one of these people where you're still struggling with the discipline

00:28:56.693 --> 00:29:03.253
aspect and being consistent, I highly recommend build that support system just like a child has.

00:29:03.453 --> 00:29:06.933
You can tell your children, you can tell your mom, you can tell your colleagues

00:29:06.933 --> 00:29:09.893
and just tell them like, hey, I'm doing this new thing.

00:29:10.033 --> 00:29:13.533
I'm learning how to play guitar. I'm starting voice lessons.

00:29:13.813 --> 00:29:16.713
Can you check in with me next week and just ask me like, hey,

00:29:16.793 --> 00:29:17.953
how many times have you practiced?

00:29:18.813 --> 00:29:23.093
And just that thought, like knowing like, oh, my friend is going to ask me next

00:29:23.093 --> 00:29:26.293
week. Like, I better do at least 10 minutes. Like, I can do 10.

00:29:26.893 --> 00:29:29.853
That's going to really help. Yeah, and it's an interesting thing.

00:29:29.853 --> 00:29:34.913
We often talk about creating habits and say, you know, just get yourself,

00:29:35.113 --> 00:29:36.053
let's say it's for a walk.

00:29:36.193 --> 00:29:39.993
Get yourself out for a walk and tell yourself, I'm going to go for 10 minutes

00:29:39.993 --> 00:29:41.693
and just walk around the neighborhood or whatever.

00:29:41.913 --> 00:29:45.753
And, you know, it's the getting on the shoes and the coat and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

00:29:45.893 --> 00:29:49.293
But once you get out there, once you start playing the instrument,

00:29:49.693 --> 00:29:53.013
oftentimes you want to keep going. Not every time, but often.

00:29:53.353 --> 00:29:57.313
Oh, you're so right. There have been so many times where my 10-minute timer

00:29:57.313 --> 00:30:02.313
has rung, and I'll just flip it again to another 20 or another 15 minutes because...

00:30:02.869 --> 00:30:06.789
I am enjoying the moment. So when that happens, I'm always like, yeah.

00:30:09.609 --> 00:30:15.989
Okay. So I want to ask you what you referred to about ages. You referred to,

00:30:16.269 --> 00:30:17.629
we need to talk about ages.

00:30:18.129 --> 00:30:24.489
Yeah. So with my adult students, they really struggled with comprehension and

00:30:24.489 --> 00:30:30.329
then the act of doing what you were, what you understand. This is very common, actually.

00:30:30.589 --> 00:30:35.389
They tell me all the time. I understand what you're saying. Like, I comprehend.

00:30:35.749 --> 00:30:41.749
My brain has absorbed what you're saying. I understand. But physically, I can't do it.

00:30:41.869 --> 00:30:46.509
Like, my fingers aren't responding fast enough. I can't play it fast enough.

00:30:46.589 --> 00:30:48.909
I am not hitting the rhythm.

00:30:49.249 --> 00:30:52.709
And there's these physical barriers. And that's where I have to tell them,

00:30:52.849 --> 00:30:57.769
like, that's because you haven't built those neurons yet. And that's what you're doing right now.

00:30:57.909 --> 00:31:00.789
There's neurogenesis happening, and it's going to take time.

00:31:01.029 --> 00:31:03.209
It's going to take practice, but it will happen.

00:31:03.469 --> 00:31:07.109
And with kids, like when that happens, because they have the same issues too,

00:31:07.249 --> 00:31:10.429
like a five, six-year-old, they don't have that fine motor control yet,

00:31:10.429 --> 00:31:13.369
but they don't care. They're just like, all right.

00:31:13.729 --> 00:31:18.769
Like they just accept it. And adults, we don't accept that very easily, right?

00:31:18.989 --> 00:31:23.229
They're like, what is wrong with us? Like, why can't I do this simple thing?

00:31:23.349 --> 00:31:27.009
Like, I understand what you're saying. This is simple. Why can't I do it?

00:31:27.169 --> 00:31:31.069
There is that like judgment that we put on ourselves.

00:31:31.469 --> 00:31:35.589
And of course, anytime you judge yourself, it's going to take your energy away.

00:31:35.789 --> 00:31:39.549
It's going to bring you down. When you're practicing and you're,

00:31:39.549 --> 00:31:44.989
you know, you're frustrated instead of like accepting and giving yourself grace.

00:31:45.209 --> 00:31:49.369
We say we're saying that term a lot right now, but it really is something that

00:31:49.369 --> 00:31:51.729
adults need to practice more of.

00:31:51.889 --> 00:31:56.189
And so, yeah, that's definitely a big challenge. And then And when we start

00:31:56.189 --> 00:32:00.109
to, like when I'm working with students that are 70 years and above,

00:32:00.389 --> 00:32:04.449
there's another challenge. And that is like things have changed.

00:32:04.795 --> 00:32:08.295
In their brain where processing new information

00:32:08.295 --> 00:32:11.575
and storing that new information sometimes it

00:32:11.575 --> 00:32:14.655
isn't stored in the right place and there's a lot of repetition

00:32:14.655 --> 00:32:17.835
and they also deal with the same things like

00:32:17.835 --> 00:32:21.155
why do i have to repeat this so many times why

00:32:21.155 --> 00:32:24.115
do i have to work harder and it is hard

00:32:24.115 --> 00:32:26.855
to kind of face that reality because they tell me

00:32:26.855 --> 00:32:29.815
all the time they're like yeah i may be 75 but i feel

00:32:29.815 --> 00:32:33.855
35 honey well tell me that and

00:32:33.855 --> 00:32:36.895
like i get it but the reality is

00:32:36.895 --> 00:32:39.715
is that the brain does slow down at that

00:32:39.715 --> 00:32:42.995
age and it is harder to learn new things so

00:32:42.995 --> 00:32:48.475
it's all about just catching up to that reality and giving yourself even more

00:32:48.475 --> 00:32:53.475
grace even more time to adjust and being okay with that and i always try to

00:32:53.475 --> 00:32:59.355
remind them like yeah this is probably something we have to accept but the future

00:32:59.355 --> 00:33:00.895
is still in our control, right?

00:33:01.075 --> 00:33:06.315
You can still sharpen your brain. You can still work out your brain to slow this process down.

00:33:06.495 --> 00:33:09.475
And that's how we can avoid these issues from accelerating.

00:33:09.735 --> 00:33:14.075
I love everything you just said, and it kind of circles us back nicely to that

00:33:14.075 --> 00:33:16.495
cognitive piece that we talked about at the beginning.

00:33:16.755 --> 00:33:22.135
And listeners, what I'm hearing Nicole say is that you need to start now and not wait.

00:33:23.095 --> 00:33:27.075
Start now. Yeah, it'll be way easier on you, for sure.

00:33:27.635 --> 00:33:30.575
Something else though that occurred to me and maybe

00:33:30.575 --> 00:33:33.395
this helps everybody listening to kind of put this together

00:33:33.395 --> 00:33:36.335
in your mind as well i am learning

00:33:36.335 --> 00:33:40.095
golf and i have gone to lessons and

00:33:40.095 --> 00:33:42.795
i have said exactly what you just said that your

00:33:42.795 --> 00:33:45.675
adult students say like i know what i'm supposed

00:33:45.675 --> 00:33:50.755
to be doing and my arms are not doing it and i don't know how to make them do

00:33:50.755 --> 00:33:55.155
that or whatever it is i know what i'm supposed to be doing i don't know how

00:33:55.155 --> 00:34:00.155
to make them do that and so So that connection for me just made a ton of sense

00:34:00.155 --> 00:34:03.455
and also kind of helps me in other things.

00:34:03.455 --> 00:34:06.975
Like we just need to be kind to ourselves and we just need to repeat a bit more.

00:34:07.135 --> 00:34:08.295
And that's how it is, right?

00:34:08.915 --> 00:34:13.535
Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. It's all about giving yourself grace and being willing to try.

00:34:14.104 --> 00:34:16.944
Yeah. Yeah. And we can figure it out. Okay.

00:34:17.124 --> 00:34:21.724
Well, this has been really interesting and I know everybody's going to enjoy this conversation.

00:34:21.804 --> 00:34:27.864
So tell us, how can people connect with you or learn more about your school

00:34:27.864 --> 00:34:33.424
or just music lessons in general? My piano studio, it's called Piano and More.

00:34:33.704 --> 00:34:36.884
So pianoandmore.org. You can go to that website.

00:34:37.184 --> 00:34:40.964
We also have social media where we like share this kind of content.

00:34:41.184 --> 00:34:45.824
So if you're curious and you want to learn more about how brain health intercepts

00:34:45.824 --> 00:34:50.424
with music and how they kind of benefit each other, definitely check us out.

00:34:50.424 --> 00:34:54.524
I also have, we just recently launched this quiz. It's called,

00:34:54.684 --> 00:34:56.964
What's Your Music Superpower?

00:34:57.224 --> 00:35:03.964
And it will basically just show you your top three categories of how music will benefit you the most.

00:35:04.144 --> 00:35:08.984
So it's like a two or three minute quiz, 25 questions, multiple choice.

00:35:09.124 --> 00:35:15.324
And it's just an easy way to kind of say, oh, practically, this is how it would help me.

00:35:15.464 --> 00:35:19.924
Is it worth it? Is it valuable enough to me? And you can just kind of get an idea. Yeah.

00:35:20.204 --> 00:35:22.744
Perfect. Perfect. And I'll have that in the show notes.

00:35:23.124 --> 00:35:26.724
Perfect. Tell us this. We're wrapping up. I've learned a ton.

00:35:26.984 --> 00:35:31.344
I know listeners have learned a ton. What would you say if we take away just

00:35:31.344 --> 00:35:35.164
one thing from this conversation, the OMG moment, what do people,

00:35:35.444 --> 00:35:38.144
what should they take away? You know, I just want women to win.

00:35:38.564 --> 00:35:43.244
Like there's so much that like I see the women ahead of me, how much they've

00:35:43.244 --> 00:35:46.364
given and how they can also feel depleted too.

00:35:46.644 --> 00:35:50.444
So like I really do see music as a superpower.

00:35:50.784 --> 00:35:55.944
It's reach and the benefits is very broad. It can help your body, mind and soul.

00:35:56.144 --> 00:36:01.724
And if you want it to, it has the potential to fill up all three areas. So don't put that aside.

00:36:02.064 --> 00:36:05.904
Don't be afraid to think like that could never be me.

00:36:06.244 --> 00:36:09.724
It's just one step at a time, one practice session at a time,

00:36:09.804 --> 00:36:11.984
and look out for yourself.

00:36:12.204 --> 00:36:15.924
Give yourself a better quality of life, and if you're

00:36:16.202 --> 00:36:22.322
having doubts, just ask yourself, why not try? I love it. Thank you so much for joining me today.

00:36:22.702 --> 00:36:25.982
Yes. Thank you for having you. It's been a pleasure. Wow.

00:36:26.602 --> 00:36:32.062
I loved this discussion. Make sure that you go to Nicole's site,

00:36:32.442 --> 00:36:36.482
Piano and More, and take her quiz. I'm definitely doing that as well.

00:36:36.782 --> 00:36:39.742
And then you heard us talking about episode one.

00:36:39.882 --> 00:36:44.322
I'll link that in the show notes. And you'll want to grab the free Story Cycle

00:36:44.322 --> 00:36:50.222
resource that I created to help you start recognizing your emotions and the thoughts behind them.

00:36:50.342 --> 00:36:53.802
And that's at CherylPFisher.com slash Story Cycle.

00:36:53.962 --> 00:36:56.642
And make sure you have hit the follow button.

00:36:56.862 --> 00:36:59.602
Because next week, we are going

00:36:59.602 --> 00:37:03.162
to be talking about something that really hits us all at a certain time.

00:37:03.162 --> 00:37:10.522
And that is isolating ourselves a bit in midlife, and making friendships,

00:37:10.522 --> 00:37:16.482
making them work, making new ones. I'll see you then. Oh my goodness.

00:37:16.902 --> 00:37:20.942
Let's keep creating confidence and success. One thought at a time.