Transcript
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When I really hit midlife, I found myself with more time than I had when the
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kids were growing up and we had lots of activities and that kind of thing.
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And I think that happens to a lot of people. Of course, we always stay busy.
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We always kind of fill our time naturally, but it's a change.
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And at times I started feeling a little bit isolated and I think that's also
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something that is common and maybe you're feeling that way right now or maybe
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you're feeling happy with the amount of time that you spend with other people.
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I'm not talking about being happy when plans cancel at the last minute.
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I think we're all happy about that sometimes.
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I'm talking about overall, do you have a sense that you have a really nice balance
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of alone time for yourself or with your spouse versus time with groups of friends
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or time with a variety of friends doing various activities, social time?
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If you feel good about that balance, that's fantastic.
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That's where we want to be because we need both. If you don't, let's talk about it.
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Welcome to Mind Your Midlife, your go-to resource for confidence and success, one thought at a time.
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Unlike most advice out there, we believe that simply telling you to believe
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in yourself or change your habits isn't enough to wake up excited about life
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or feel truly confident in your body.
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Each week, you'll gain actionable strategies, and oh my goodness,
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powerful insights to stop feeling stuck and start loving your midlife.
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This is the Mind Your Midlife Podcast.
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I work entirely from home.
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You can do so much online right now. Oh my goodness.
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I do corporate training around the world. I do a podcast, you might have heard.
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I do life and mindset coaching. So much can be done from one chair at one desk at home.
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It's incredible, especially for you and I who grew up in the 70s,
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80s, maybe early 90s. It was a very different time then. And then we had the pandemic.
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And during the pandemic, we even started socializing online,
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I guess because that was all we could do.
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I used to have regular Zooms with friends that lived all around the country.
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But it's still not the same, whether we're talking about work or socializing,
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it's still not the same thing as being together with people.
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Every now and then, I actually sit down and wonder, who are my friends who live nearby?
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Have I seen them lately? Have I forgotten about them? Should I make a list?
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Why can't I remember? And I'm going to link for you an episode of OMG Teach
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Me, the prior podcast, where I interviewed Alex, who is a friendship expert.
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And we had a pretty fascinating discussion about friendship in general.
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And she absolutely said, making a list is fine. I kind of felt like,
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am I a bad friend if I have to make a list of who I want to keep in touch with?
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But she said, that's normal. So for you, that's normal.
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I have a couple of friends I see all the time, but there are many more whom
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I never seem to see and I would like to, I think.
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So do I want to make new friends? Do I like my schedule as it is? Do I want to change?
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This might be going through your head as well. We reach a point,
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as I said a minute ago, where.
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The activities change that are going on in our day-to-day lives,
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and maybe where we have some really big, dramatic or traumatic things happen.
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So today's episode, I want to help you and help me, I'm certainly not perfect,
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to understand isolation in midlife and then to see if we can move forward in
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a productive way with our mindset about how to help ourselves and also with
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some really practical tips that you could do,
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now, as soon as you finish listening to this. So here we go.
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This feeling of isolation in midlife, where does it come from?
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Well, obviously, for you, it might be very different than me.
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Every person is going to have different experiences and different life situation,
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but there are some common things.
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And first of all, there's certain sort of happenings and events,
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life transitions, let's call them that, that happen around midlife.
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And we could define midlife as late 30s to 60s, define it how you want.
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And it depends on how long have you been married? Are you married?
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How old are your kids? Do you have kids? Have you changed jobs? Are you retiring?
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So many variables, right? So we're being quite general here.
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But during midlife, at some point, if you have kids, they will leave and go live on their own.
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And so that brings something that we've even given a syndrome name to, Empty Nest Syndrome.
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And yes, I will definitely do an episode on that.
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Maybe your relationship has changed. Maybe you were in a marriage,
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you're not anymore. Or maybe you weren't, but now you are later in life.
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Or maybe you're on your second marriage, whatever, your relationship may have
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changed in some way. Maybe you've changed your career.
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Maybe, as I said, you're actually able to retire early.
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Maybe you're dealing with some traumatic events with the older generation of your family.
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As they're getting older and may be ill. And that's certainly the case for me.
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So when we're having all these changes that can be difficult, sometimes we withdraw.
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And it's a self-protection thing, and there's nothing wrong with it.
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And quite frankly, you might need some time to yourself related to some of these
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things. I know that's been the case for me.
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Sometimes I I want time to myself. And sometimes I just want to escape.
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And my escape, I don't know if I've said this on the podcast before,
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I definitely have on social media, my escape is almost always reading novels.
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Happy ending is a must. So I'm reading novels.
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That's how I escape. And it helps me to give myself some time on my own.
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And I really think my brain is kind of processing things in the background as I do that.
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You may have a different way that you withdraw. Maybe you meditate.
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Maybe you pray. Maybe you sleep more. Maybe you get involved in a series on TV.
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Maybe you write in a journal and you write and write and write and write.
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It's okay to withdraw and do that self-care. I mean, having self-care is good.
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And at the same time, that can be part of the reason why we feel isolated,
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right? So I'm not saying it's wrong. It's probably needed.
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And because it's okay and normal, sometimes then we're creating a situation
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where we're isolated because we're not reaching out to our friends and we are
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taking more time on our own.
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And maybe our friends don't know how to help us.
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So in episode three, I'll remember to link this in the show notes as well.
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I was talking about toxic positivity and how to speak to someone who has had a major loss.
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And I think this applies here as well. So we're going to go through some stuff in midlife.
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And as a mindset coach, I struggle to make that statement because I always want
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you to know that it's about how you look at it and what you focus on.
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But the reality is we're going to go through some stuff with our parents or
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other people in the older generation. There's just going to be stuff.
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And if your friends are going through stuff, sometimes you might not know how to help them, right?
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And oftentimes, your friend may not really want your opinion.
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Maybe there's a tricky situation with your friend's kids, or maybe your friend
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is upset trying to figure out something related to their parents with their
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care or a will or who knows,
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so many tricky things that we may be dealing with, they don't necessarily want
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your opinion or my opinion, quite frankly.
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And so sometimes as a friend, we don't know how to help them.
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And so we might pull back from our friends.
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Because we are trying to be a good friend, but we don't know what to do, right?
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I don't think anyone has a negative intention in most of these situations.
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And as a side note, what we talked about in episode three is when someone has
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a terrible thing happen, you can say, I'm sorry.
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You can say that stinks. You can say, I'll be praying for you.
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You can say to a good friend, Can I help you in any way? But that's it.
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We don't get to say, oh, this happened to me and here's how I felt.
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And we don't get to say what our opinion is about what they should do unless they ask.
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Side note, important. But again, if we don't know what to say or we don't know
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what to do, we might withdraw.
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And they might do the same towards us. And it's not a lack of friendship.
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It's just a we don't know. now the
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other thing that happens in midlife is the
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we're having all these transitions and so I guess this is part of the transition
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but there's this scaffolding that typically is going to change and here's what
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I mean by that when I was in my 30s and 40s I was and along with my husband
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of of course, raising kids.
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And those kids are amazing.
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And those kids were involved in a lot, a lot of activities, sports,
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scouts, school, all kinds of things, clubs, different things,
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different times of the year.
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And a lot of my social interaction came from these I don't know.
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Activities that I was taking the kids to or that we together were taking our kids to.
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And I made a lot of friends, and my husband did as well, we've talked about this a couple times.
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With the parents of the other players on the team or with the parents of the
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other people in the scout group or whatever it is. And we saw each other a lot.
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And maybe sometimes we actually did do things outside of that scenario because
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we really did become friends.
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But when that scaffolding, when that kind of structure is taken away,
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then some of those friendships are probably going to fall to the wayside because
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they were sort of from being nearby.
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They were like location related, almost like a situationship,
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if you've heard that term.
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They were friendships happening because it was convenient for it to happen.
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And that's not a bad thing. It's quite normal.
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And when those convenient pieces change, maybe your kids have gone to college
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or they've moved somewhere farther away.
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Well, they're not playing the sport four times a week or they're not doing whatever
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else they were doing. Or maybe you're not out in the neighborhood with your
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younger kids anymore and speaking with the other parents.
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That was always a favorite thing of mine. when those
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things stop happening then sometimes we really
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feel the loss of that and we feel like we're isolated
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now we might be telling ourselves we're isolated and we still have plenty of
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things going on in our lives it's the change right it's the change from all
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this stuff happening and all this interaction with all these people to now it
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looks very different and i'm going through this myself. Absolutely.
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And for those of us whose kids were leaving the house, whether college or post-college
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or whatever, during COVID, it was even more complicated.
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And I know it's been years since then, but there are lasting changes about how
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we interact with each other.
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It was even more complicated then because sort of all the scaffolding of everything went away.
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And now we're trying to rebuild, and we're not sure how to do that.
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So I'm going to talk you through the mindset of rebuilding friendships,
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whether they're existing or whether they're going to be new friendships.
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You have to believe you can do it first. And then I'm going to give you some tips.
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But I just want to really underscore why this is important. So we've heard,
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let me make sure I organize myself, we've heard why it happens that we feel isolated.
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This is a time of change. It's a time of, unfortunately, potentially some hard
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or dramatic things in life happening, and we've lost that structure that gave
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us kind of presto friends.
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So why is it important that we move through
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this and we really make an effort if we allow
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ourselves to stay in isolation without a lot of social interaction it it has
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risks to our health and of course our mental state i was looking at the cdc
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web website in fact and i looked at all sorts of articles to do this podcast episode,
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because I really wanted to see what people were out there saying.
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So on the website, it said, one in three adults in the U.S.
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Report feeling lonely. One in three.
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That means if you look at two other people in addition to you,
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one of the three of you is feeling lonely right now. One in four U.S.
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Adults report not having social and emotional support.
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So maybe they have people in their lives, but they don't feel supported by them.
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Or maybe they really just don't have people in their lives supporting them.
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Now, that wasn't midlife specific, but that kind of makes me concerned even
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more because I feel like this period of time we're in might be a particularly
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difficult one related to these issues.
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So what does that mean? If social isolation means that we're cut off from interactions
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with other people, that would give us social and emotional support.
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Loneliness is a different thing.
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Loneliness, you could be feeling that when you have a lot of social interaction or when you don't.
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It's a feeling that you're all alone. And they could both happen at the same
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time or they could happen separately.
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So what are the risks? Why do we need to help ourselves out of this?
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Well, mental health-wise, when we are isolated, when we don't have support from
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other people that we would like to have, there is an increased risk of depression.
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There is an increased risk of anxiety.
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And I feel like that kind of makes sense. If we don't have something and we
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want it, I could see how that could lead us down a path.
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I also read, and I didn't know this, that social isolation is being associated right now.
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People are learning this could be associated with cognitive decline.
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And we just last week talked about music and how important that is as basically
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a brain boost, a brain exercise, and emotional support.
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And so let's continue that. Cognitive decline is something that we want to minimize
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now as much as we can, right?
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So that we have 20, 30, 40 more years to enjoy in strong, I don't even know
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how to say it, with a good brain, with a healthy brain. There we go.
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And then the physical risk. So physical health, if we are socially isolated,
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we don't have that support of a social network, there is a higher likelihood of heart disease.
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There is a higher likelihood of stroke.
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Now, higher likelihood doesn't necessarily mean cause and effect,
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but it's a pattern that makes us pay attention.
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There is an increased risk of type 2 diabetes, and I didn't read into why that
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is, so I'm not going to make any guesses, but that is something that they found.
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And apparently, elevated mortality rates. We might not live as long.
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So I don't want to scare you. Have I scared you? I don't want to scare you.
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I just want you to know that.
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Even if it feels a little bit nerve-wracking and scary to say,
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okay, I want to get out of this isolation. I'm going to try to make friends.
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Even if that feels a little bit scary, it's really powerful and it's really important.
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So if we agree on that point, now let's take a few minutes to figure out,
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well, okay, what do I do? How do I do it?
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I'm going to give you the how-tos. I keep promising that I haven't done it yet, but I will.
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But first, this is mind your midlife. We want to go behind the scenes, behind the curtain,
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in deep into the brain, because your self-belief, your subconscious beliefs
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about yourself and about midlife are directing you and me, us.
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And they're often the real culprits here.
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It's what we're telling ourselves that's holding us back in so many of these situations.
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And I coach with clients regularly who are feeling frustrated because they feel
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isolated and they don't know how to create a new network of friends, how to feel accepted.
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They've had a major life change and they're trying to figure out what to do.
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And if that's you, go to Cheryl P. Fisher dot com slash coaching and let's set up a call. It's free.
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Let's see if coaching would be a fit for you. But if you have beliefs in your
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deep subconscious mind about whether
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you could still make friends at this point in your life, maybe not,
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maybe those friendships wouldn't be strong because only friendships that we
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made earlier in life and held on to would be the strong ones.
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It's the history that matters.
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Maybe there's something having to do with your parents or other figures in that
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older generation that you're maybe continuing a pattern.
00:19:15.243 --> 00:19:19.103
Maybe you saw them be isolated at this age.
00:19:19.323 --> 00:19:25.203
You saw them get maybe a little bit more sad or just not have as many friends.
00:19:25.203 --> 00:19:29.523
And somehow that created a belief for you deep in there that you may not even
00:19:29.523 --> 00:19:34.463
realize that that's how it is at this point, at this stage in life,
00:19:34.603 --> 00:19:36.683
you might be continuing that pattern.
00:19:37.063 --> 00:19:43.103
Maybe you have a belief hidden in there that you can't really go out on the
00:19:43.103 --> 00:19:45.963
town with friends at this stage of life.
00:19:45.963 --> 00:19:49.443
That's just kind of, that's not what we're supposed to be doing,
00:19:49.443 --> 00:19:52.983
that the 20-somethings do that, we would look silly.
00:19:53.823 --> 00:19:57.383
Or maybe you have a belief that you're not even as fun now.
00:19:57.723 --> 00:20:01.323
Maybe you have a belief that this period of life is the time that you need to
00:20:01.323 --> 00:20:03.523
calm down and you need to be more serious.
00:20:04.183 --> 00:20:09.103
There could be things like that hidden in there, and that's what coaching helps us to figure out.
00:20:09.423 --> 00:20:13.823
And you can also just kind of observe yourself, observe your thoughts.
00:20:14.083 --> 00:20:16.343
The Story Cycle resource may help you.
00:20:17.073 --> 00:20:24.033
CherylPFisher.com slash StoryCycle. So the first step is to figure out,
00:20:24.033 --> 00:20:29.193
am I telling myself something that's basically self-sabotaging?
00:20:29.473 --> 00:20:36.553
Am I behaving in a way based on these subconscious beliefs that come from observations
00:20:36.553 --> 00:20:41.753
and things I've heard and been told that tell me how my midlife period of life should be?
00:20:41.813 --> 00:20:46.033
If we can recognize that, we can usually debunk it, right?
00:20:46.153 --> 00:20:49.833
If you can recognize that there is a thought in your head when you say,
00:20:49.993 --> 00:20:53.333
oh, I'd like to make some new friends. If there's a thought in your head,
00:20:53.573 --> 00:20:58.433
for example, there could be a million things that says, oh, it's too late to make new friends.
00:20:58.633 --> 00:21:04.133
If that thought's in there, recognize it and ask yourself, is that really true?
00:21:04.273 --> 00:21:07.353
And let me just tell you for that example, of course that's not true.
00:21:07.733 --> 00:21:10.353
Of course that's not true. You can make friends at any point.
00:21:10.553 --> 00:21:16.913
Look at women who go into assisted living facilities in their 80s and overall
00:21:16.913 --> 00:21:19.313
are still healthy, they're making friends.
00:21:20.053 --> 00:21:24.293
They're playing cards and they're having movie night and whatever they're doing.
00:21:24.553 --> 00:21:28.053
They're making friends. You can make friends. So my point is,
00:21:28.133 --> 00:21:32.033
the first thing is to recognize are there thoughts and these subconscious beliefs
00:21:32.033 --> 00:21:36.953
sticking in my head that are talking to me and telling me that I can't do this.
00:21:37.373 --> 00:21:45.473
Now, some tips for you besides recognizing those thoughts. I want you to decide to be a friend.
00:21:45.833 --> 00:21:49.673
And at this stage of life, it takes some intention to do this.
00:21:50.113 --> 00:21:55.733
You certainly have some friends from earlier periods in life,
00:21:55.733 --> 00:21:58.713
whether it's this time of life I was talking about before where we have this
00:21:58.713 --> 00:22:01.733
scaffolding of kids' activities.
00:22:02.093 --> 00:22:06.973
Maybe it's from those. Maybe it's from college. Maybe it's from high school.
00:22:07.153 --> 00:22:10.633
You've kept up with them on social media. That's the great thing about social media.
00:22:10.893 --> 00:22:15.593
Maybe it's family that you had kind of not been in touch with as often because
00:22:15.593 --> 00:22:19.433
life got busy, but you always, you know, really loved that cousin or whatever.
00:22:20.093 --> 00:22:23.853
It's time to consider reconnecting with them.
00:22:23.993 --> 00:22:29.193
You have to do this in an intentional way, but sometimes we have to take the
00:22:29.193 --> 00:22:32.553
initiative, particularly if we're not going to just run into this person.
00:22:32.753 --> 00:22:38.693
So what if you texted them and said, wow, it's been a while. How are you?
00:22:38.993 --> 00:22:42.193
Hope you're doing well. Say it in your words. Sound like yourself.
00:22:42.373 --> 00:22:44.653
It doesn't have to be anything more than that.
00:22:44.893 --> 00:22:47.573
Call out the elephant in the room. It's been a while.
00:22:47.893 --> 00:22:51.593
Say, I just wanted to hear how you were. Or maybe I thought of you today,
00:22:51.593 --> 00:22:52.713
so I thought I'd reach out.
00:22:53.053 --> 00:22:57.153
Now, I used to say call, but I think we're a little weirded out,
00:22:57.333 --> 00:22:59.733
aren't we, when people call that we haven't talked to in ages.
00:22:59.993 --> 00:23:03.393
So maybe the text, maybe it's a card that you send in the mail.
00:23:03.593 --> 00:23:07.173
Maybe that's what you love to do. I have a friend who decided that she was going
00:23:07.173 --> 00:23:11.573
to be sending cards in the mail all throughout this year to people that she
00:23:11.573 --> 00:23:16.253
really felt strongly about having in her life. Last year, this same friend.
00:23:17.172 --> 00:23:20.712
Was emailing people throughout the year when she thought of them and telling
00:23:20.712 --> 00:23:22.592
them how powerful they were in her life.
00:23:22.732 --> 00:23:25.252
You can do it no matter how you communicate.
00:23:25.552 --> 00:23:29.472
It's intentionally being a friend, and that doesn't have to feel scary,
00:23:29.472 --> 00:23:34.272
I don't think, because you don't even have to ask them to do anything with you.
00:23:34.512 --> 00:23:37.652
You just reach out and say, I was thinking about you. It's been a while.
00:23:37.832 --> 00:23:39.772
How are you? Or I hope you're doing well.
00:23:40.212 --> 00:23:43.272
And then maybe a conversation starts.
00:23:43.752 --> 00:23:47.452
I definitely am more in touch with some of my cousins now than I used to be
00:23:47.452 --> 00:23:50.572
because we're all kind of in a similar stage of life.
00:23:50.732 --> 00:23:53.412
We have a bit more time and we actually started talking to each other.
00:23:53.692 --> 00:23:55.732
And that certainly wasn't happening before.
00:23:56.092 --> 00:24:01.452
Now, the person might not get back to you or they might get back to you and just say, I'm great.
00:24:01.652 --> 00:24:05.252
Hope you are too. And then it kind of fizzles out. That's okay.
00:24:05.632 --> 00:24:10.692
Just intentionally make the effort to be a friend and to be social.
00:24:11.172 --> 00:24:13.572
Number two, do things.
00:24:14.772 --> 00:24:18.072
This, I think, might be the most, well, you know what? I was going to say it
00:24:18.072 --> 00:24:21.612
might be the most powerful. These are all powerful. We're not going to say that. Do things.
00:24:21.992 --> 00:24:29.512
So find yourself something to do that you enjoy that involves other people. For me, it's Mahjong.
00:24:29.752 --> 00:24:32.752
I started four months ago, three months ago.
00:24:32.892 --> 00:24:37.972
I took a lesson and I have played many times since then. Now,
00:24:38.072 --> 00:24:40.932
I'm probably not ever going to be playing in major competitions or anything.
00:24:41.092 --> 00:24:46.032
I'm just doing it for fun and to force myself to be out there chatting with
00:24:46.032 --> 00:24:49.032
people. And I've met really cool people doing it.
00:24:49.312 --> 00:24:52.352
For you, that might sound horrendous.
00:24:53.552 --> 00:24:58.832
Maybe it's knitting or some other hobby craft where you could go to a group
00:24:58.832 --> 00:25:02.912
or a class or you could go to some scheduled event.
00:25:03.272 --> 00:25:08.232
Maybe it's a sport. Maybe you always used to play a sport, and now there is
00:25:08.232 --> 00:25:11.512
a group that you could play for fun locally.
00:25:11.932 --> 00:25:14.112
Go look for that, because it
00:25:14.112 --> 00:25:18.672
probably exists. Just make sure that it's something that you would enjoy.
00:25:18.892 --> 00:25:23.972
Because the first time you go to whatever it is, is going to be nerve-wracking.
00:25:24.272 --> 00:25:26.872
It's okay. You're going to be okay.
00:25:27.352 --> 00:25:31.272
Probably most of the other people there feel the same. Remind yourself of that.
00:25:31.272 --> 00:25:35.392
You're going to an organized event and people want you there.
00:25:36.150 --> 00:25:39.010
But we'll still sometimes get a little nerve-wracked about it.
00:25:39.110 --> 00:25:42.530
So make sure it's something that you really enjoy doing.
00:25:43.050 --> 00:25:47.750
And maybe some friendships come out of that. I can see that starting to happen
00:25:47.750 --> 00:25:49.890
for me. And it might take time.
00:25:50.370 --> 00:25:54.290
Just be interactive. Just be yourself.
00:25:54.670 --> 00:26:01.270
Be kind. And you never know. And at the very least, now you're socializing. One step, right?
00:26:01.430 --> 00:26:04.630
One step at a time. so I want
00:26:04.630 --> 00:26:07.330
you to check your thoughts I want
00:26:07.330 --> 00:26:09.990
you to intentionally be a friend and I
00:26:09.990 --> 00:26:12.650
want you to do things and the
00:26:12.650 --> 00:26:16.010
pieces that go behind that is is really being willing
00:26:16.010 --> 00:26:19.270
to take a risk because when you
00:26:19.270 --> 00:26:24.290
are reaching out to someone you're taking that initiative it's not a big risk
00:26:24.290 --> 00:26:28.350
it's not a scary risk but sometimes we tell ourselves that it is so you have
00:26:28.350 --> 00:26:32.530
to be willing to do that now one of the things I found is really an amazing
00:26:32.530 --> 00:26:35.550
way to get to know people and kind of see whether you want to get to know them
00:26:35.550 --> 00:26:37.530
even further is to meet for coffee.
00:26:37.810 --> 00:26:42.450
Low key. It's like the meet for a drink in the dating world, right?
00:26:43.250 --> 00:26:46.770
Now, this is a very common thing if you go to networking groups.
00:26:46.770 --> 00:26:50.350
You meet someone at a networking event, like a networking happy hour,
00:26:50.370 --> 00:26:54.370
and then you maybe exchange contact information or business cards,
00:26:54.370 --> 00:26:57.030
and then you say, hey, let's meet for coffee.
00:26:57.190 --> 00:27:01.930
And on the surface at a networking event, it's to tell each other about your
00:27:01.930 --> 00:27:03.870
businesses and see how you can help each other.
00:27:04.130 --> 00:27:08.370
But it's also to get to know each other. And so when you are at a social event,
00:27:08.370 --> 00:27:11.550
and you find that you're really enjoying getting along with someone,
00:27:11.830 --> 00:27:13.690
maybe they'd like to meet you for coffee.
00:27:13.890 --> 00:27:17.190
Wouldn't that be fun? Maybe on a Friday. Hey, you want to have coffee on a Friday?
00:27:17.850 --> 00:27:21.870
Very quick, simple, easy. And even if they can't do it, they probably think
00:27:21.870 --> 00:27:25.090
it's cool that you ask them. And no, you don't have to drink coffee.
00:27:26.410 --> 00:27:31.830
Or maybe some of your texting with your old contacts, your old friends,
00:27:31.830 --> 00:27:35.290
has kind of gone back and forth quite a bit. And you say, hey,
00:27:35.390 --> 00:27:38.610
I'd love to catch up on the phone. Can I call you this weekend?
00:27:39.130 --> 00:27:42.510
It's still a little bit of you being willing to take a risk,
00:27:42.510 --> 00:27:44.270
and it might pay off huge.
00:27:44.950 --> 00:27:50.670
And then the last thing I'll say is we kind of need to train ourselves to pay
00:27:50.670 --> 00:27:52.870
attention to other people in a social way.
00:27:53.390 --> 00:27:58.330
And that could be as simple as going for a walk around the block and actually,
00:27:58.630 --> 00:28:01.810
and I say this because I live in an area where it doesn't happen very often,
00:28:02.030 --> 00:28:05.190
your area might be different, actually looking at each other,
00:28:05.450 --> 00:28:07.210
maybe even smiling real quick.
00:28:08.009 --> 00:28:11.889
Right? I mean, do the thing that's appropriate where you are,
00:28:12.009 --> 00:28:15.649
but say hello to your neighbors when you're out at the mailbox.
00:28:15.909 --> 00:28:20.909
Put yourself in situations where you can say hello to people walking their dogs.
00:28:21.549 --> 00:28:24.789
Practice prioritizing social interaction,
00:28:24.789 --> 00:28:33.269
even in tiny ways, and it will start to sort of refocus your brain on the idea
00:28:33.269 --> 00:28:36.789
that interacting with people is a good thing, is a positive thing.
00:28:37.069 --> 00:28:41.489
And when we're going through stuff, which we're all going to go through,
00:28:41.709 --> 00:28:46.589
even if you're not going through it right now, we're all going to go through it. We need people.
00:28:47.029 --> 00:28:52.269
We need to feel like we're supported. We need to feel like our friends would
00:28:52.269 --> 00:28:53.769
be there if we reached out to them.
00:28:54.109 --> 00:28:59.169
And so now, before we get into those situations, let's see if we can create
00:28:59.169 --> 00:29:00.189
some of those connections.
00:29:00.409 --> 00:29:04.409
Be patient. It might take time, but trust your gut.
00:29:05.849 --> 00:29:09.569
If I could say anything else, you're texting, you're having a coffee,
00:29:09.749 --> 00:29:15.249
you met at the Mahjong game or whatever, trust your gut as to whether you'd
00:29:15.249 --> 00:29:17.349
want to spend more time getting to know that person.
00:29:17.749 --> 00:29:20.009
I think you kind of know, you get a sense.
00:29:20.409 --> 00:29:23.569
And it's okay if you don't. Look for the ones where you will,
00:29:23.649 --> 00:29:26.129
because there are some if we put ourselves out there.
00:29:26.249 --> 00:29:31.069
So my OMG, oh my goodness moment for you that I want you to hold on to is if
00:29:31.069 --> 00:29:35.969
you believe you can make friends in midlife, you can make friends in midlife.
00:29:36.309 --> 00:29:41.089
Do things, be intentional, be friendly, give it time.
00:29:41.189 --> 00:29:45.369
And if you need help, reach out to a friend or reach out to a coach.
00:29:45.609 --> 00:29:49.689
So I hope this was a helpful and interesting episode for you.
00:29:50.009 --> 00:29:55.009
Come hang out with us in the pod squad on Facebook. You never know where you
00:29:55.009 --> 00:29:56.289
might make new friends, right?
00:29:56.989 --> 00:30:00.389
Grab the link in the show notes. It's the Mind Your Midlife pod squad.
00:30:00.389 --> 00:30:03.009
We have bonus interviews and trainings in there.
00:30:03.129 --> 00:30:07.569
You get to ask some questions ahead of time that I ask to my podcast guests.
00:30:08.029 --> 00:30:14.409
And we have fun. I love laughter too. So come hang out with us and then make
00:30:14.409 --> 00:30:19.089
sure you've hit the follow button in your podcast app because next week we are
00:30:19.089 --> 00:30:22.229
going to be talking about sleep in midlife.
00:30:22.449 --> 00:30:24.969
This is such a highly requested topic.
00:30:25.469 --> 00:30:28.729
We're going to wind it into perimenopause as well.
00:30:28.889 --> 00:30:33.949
We need help with our sleep. So you will love the guest who is joining me next week. Oh my goodness.
00:30:34.249 --> 00:30:36.349
Let's keep creating confidence and success.
00:30:36.240 --> 00:30:46.577
Music.
